GREECE + GREASE: A RECIPE FOR RECOVERY?

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John announced on Saturday that they will present a benefit performance of Grease at the Parthenon in Athens in June, with all proceeds being donated to the financially strapped Greek government. "Without Greece there would have been no Grease," Travolta noted. "Our play is drawn directly from the tragedies of William Shakespeare and Eugene O'Neill, two of Greece's greatest playwrights. It is an honor for us to pay tribute to them, and in doing so help the nation that the play was named for."

WILL VISIBLE THONGS BE NEXT?

On Friday, North Dakota became the 32nd state to legalize exposed brassiere straps on teenage girls. "Too much of our police officers' time was being taken up with enforcing existing anti-skank ordinances," claimed Governor Wendell Turner. "In addition, enforcement efforts often resulted in male officers having sex with the offenders, which is an abuse of power if I've ever seen one."