McCAIN RE-BOARDS STRAIGHT-TALK EXPRESS, KILLS INNOCENT MAN

(Associated Press) An audience member at Wednesday night's Presidential debate held at Hofstra University suffered a fatal heart attack after hearing John McCain directly answer a question, rather than deliver a rehearsed sound-bite containing the phrase "my friends." Brandon "Tuffy" Fleckmeyer, a 68-year-old retired bricklayer, clutched his chest and keeled over after McCain responded "green" to Bob Schieffer's question, "What is your favorite color?" Fleckmeyer was pronounced dead at the scene by a local veterinarian who had attended the debate with her cat.