BUSH SWINGS FOR THE FENCES IN REVISED BAIL-OUT PLAN

(Reuters) In one of the most forceful public addresses of his Presidency, George W. Bush went on the offensive today when he announced an alternative to the $700 billion bail-out plan that the Administration had proposed earlier this week. "Beginning on October 1st, recycling of all soda cans will be mandatory in every one of our 50 states," the President proclaimed in an address at the annual meeting of the Divorced Hispanic Beekeepers Association in Scranton, Pennsylvania. "If every American returns just 10 extra cans per month, we can beat this thing. At 5 cents per can, just do the math. We're sitting on top of a mother lode of untapped assets, and right now all we're doing is 'fartin' on the pile', as my grandmother used to say. The homeless know what I'm talking about. They've been collecting cans and bottles for decades, and it's made them what they are today: the dynamic engine that drives our thriving cardboard-shelter industry. It's time to get our hands a little dirty, America, and save this nation."