PUT EXTRA MUSTARD ON MINE, PLEASE

According to an article in the July 1st issue of Environmental Science and Technology, Stanford researchers have found that sand at beaches all along the California coast contains "fecal indicator bacteria" (no joke), which is just a fancy name for "poopy-related stuff."

"And if you think that's gross," commented the leader of the research team, "you definitely don't want to know what turned up in the hot dogs they were selling on the boardwalk."