"IF LOVING YOU IS WRONG, I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT"

The bad news is that "hate crimes" increased 8% in the United States in 2006, according to an FBI report (no joke). The good news is that "love crimes" decreased by a whopping 14%. A love crime is motivated by intense affection for the victim on the part of the perpetrator. Perhaps the most notorious love crime of 2006 occurred in Cooper's Crevice, Nevada, where Mrs. Evelyn Stanky, a taxidermist, was convicted of stuffing her husband Garth and mounting him on the wall of their den. The legal problem was that Garth wasn't dead at the time. At her sentencing, Mrs. Stanky explained that "Garth told me he was going to the store to get some food for our pet ferret. I told him that I just loved him too much to let him out of my sight that night. He thought I was kidding and started out the door. That's when I hit him in the head with the microwave. I thought I had accidentally killed him, but I should have known better when he began screaming and wouldn't stop. I really messed up, didn't I?"