OBAMA, MADONNA LINK MORE THAN A RUMOR

According to a copyrighted article in this week's People magazine, Barack Obama has been named as the "third party" in Madonna's impending divorce from Guy Ritchie. A spokesman for the Obama campaign confirmed the report, observing that "Now that the election is a lock for Barack, he's going to start dating white women with a vengeance. This weekend he's taking Nancy Pelosi to see the new James Bond movie, and he'll be spending Thanksgiving with Katie Couric and her kids. Let's face it: Barack's the Man!"