JODI RELL: MEETING BURGLARS MORE THAN HALFWAY

In a recent address to the state legislature, Connecticut Governor Jodi Rell indicated her plans to submit legislation that would make burglary of an occupied dwelling a first-degree offense rather than a second-degree one. This would result in harsher penalties for those convicted of such crimes (no joke). In a voice teeming with barely controlled rage, the Governor hissed that "the least these bastards can do is call ahead and see if anyone's home before they break in. I mean, all of these clowns have cell phones. Is is too much to ask that they use them? Hell, I'm willing to knock two years off the sentence of any burglar convicted of robbing an unoccupied home, as long as his cell phone records show that he called beforehand. I think I'm being more than fair."

Grin wholeheartedly agrees, Governor.