A FEW SENTENCES FROM GOD

As faithful readers know, Grin is the only blog in North America that features a Question-and-Answer section with God. Today's query is from Timmy McAllister, a 9-year-old from Duluth, Minnesota:

"Dear God: What do you like to do in your spare time? Do you have any hobbies?"

God's email response (via AOL):

"Great question, Timmy. I can see that a smart young man like yourself is going to go far in life. Of course, being God, it's not surprising that I would know that. I know everything! (Ha-ha). Now to your question: When you're running an entire universe there's not a lot of free time. But whenever I get a chance I relax by watching college football in the fall and dog shows the rest of the year. My only serious hobby is creating natural disasters. A good natural disaster is a work of art, in my opinion. I realize this sounds horrible, but I absolutely loved producing that tsunami that wiped out Sri Lanka a few years ago. I worked on that project for over six months. Hurricane Katrina also turned out well, but I can't take full credit for that one. It helped a lot that the levees weren't high enough and that FEMA is run by government officials so clueless that I wouldn't trust them with my ant farm. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about all the lives that are lost in these episodes, but then I remember that people are having sex all the time, so they'll be replaced soon! (Ask your mom or dad to tell you about sex. It's way cool!) Right now I'm trying to put together a kick-ass earthquake for the spring. I can't reveal where it's going to be, but just between you and me, don't let your parents take you to Peru on vacation anytime soon.

I hope I've answered your questions. Have a wonderful holiday season! -- Your Friend, God"