AND WHERE WILL YOU BE SPENDING THE AFTER-LIFE?
(Associated Press) In a press conference held early this morning in Tampa, Florida, the Communications Office of the Supreme Being of the Universe announced the first change in post-death living arrangements for humans in over 2000 years. Southpoint Towers, located midway between Purgatory and Hell, will be open for occupancy beginning in March 2008. The Towers will be reserved for individuals who, during their lives, did really bad things not because they were bad people, but because they were hopelessly confused about what was good.
According to Communications Office Spokesangel Tyrell Hawkins, "Southpoint Towers is a lot like a facility for the criminally insane on earth, except that it will be more punitive. For example, we'll probably be getting a lot of folks who were members of the National Rifle Association (NRA) when they were alive. In the Towers they won't burn for eternity like the hell-dwellers, but they will be tied naked to metal chairs in playrooms filled with 6-year-old boys of low IQ who are high on crack and have unlimited access to loaded handguns and AK-47s. It's all about fairness, you know."
Residents of Southpoint Towers will be allowed to apply for additional medical insurance at a nominal cost (Dead-Plus Coverage).
(Associated Press) In a press conference held early this morning in Tampa, Florida, the Communications Office of the Supreme Being of the Universe announced the first change in post-death living arrangements for humans in over 2000 years. Southpoint Towers, located midway between Purgatory and Hell, will be open for occupancy beginning in March 2008. The Towers will be reserved for individuals who, during their lives, did really bad things not because they were bad people, but because they were hopelessly confused about what was good.
According to Communications Office Spokesangel Tyrell Hawkins, "Southpoint Towers is a lot like a facility for the criminally insane on earth, except that it will be more punitive. For example, we'll probably be getting a lot of folks who were members of the National Rifle Association (NRA) when they were alive. In the Towers they won't burn for eternity like the hell-dwellers, but they will be tied naked to metal chairs in playrooms filled with 6-year-old boys of low IQ who are high on crack and have unlimited access to loaded handguns and AK-47s. It's all about fairness, you know."
Residents of Southpoint Towers will be allowed to apply for additional medical insurance at a nominal cost (Dead-Plus Coverage).
posted by Mike | 10:28 AM
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