YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, THE MAN HAS A POINT
The Good News: New federal regulations, taking effect July 1st, will establish stricter fire-safety standards for mattresses. These regulations, approved by the U.S. Product Safety Commission, are intended to make mattresses more fire-resistant. I'm not making this up.
The Not-So-Good News: Many manufacturers plan to meet these new standards by filling their mattresses with asbestos. Horace Freckmeyer, President of the Beautyrest Company, vigorously defended this decision at an afternoon press conference, declaring, "For the love of God, everybody has to die of something! Personally, I'd rather have cancer take me down like a man than get barbecued in my bed, squawking like some East Coast liberal rotisserie chicken, because I fell asleep while smoking. Where's the dignity in that?"
The Good News: New federal regulations, taking effect July 1st, will establish stricter fire-safety standards for mattresses. These regulations, approved by the U.S. Product Safety Commission, are intended to make mattresses more fire-resistant. I'm not making this up.
The Not-So-Good News: Many manufacturers plan to meet these new standards by filling their mattresses with asbestos. Horace Freckmeyer, President of the Beautyrest Company, vigorously defended this decision at an afternoon press conference, declaring, "For the love of God, everybody has to die of something! Personally, I'd rather have cancer take me down like a man than get barbecued in my bed, squawking like some East Coast liberal rotisserie chicken, because I fell asleep while smoking. Where's the dignity in that?"
posted by Mike | 8:37 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home