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Friday, March 06, 2009

OBAMA: "WE DON'T WANT TO WIN THE WAR AGAINST DRUGS, WE WANT TO WIN THE WAR WITH DRUGS!"

President Barack Obama stunned a roomful of 3rd graders in Topeka, Kansas this afternoon when he announced plans to legalize heroin, cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy in an attempt to jumpstart the U.S. economy. "This move will create tens of thousands of new, legal jobs in the drug industry," Obama told students at Rutherford B. Hayes Elementary School. "From production to sales to treatment of addiction, the drug trade represents an economic stallion that I'm ready to ride, and to ride hard," the President proclaimed. "It's time for dealers and crack heads to pay taxes like the rest of us," Obama insisted. When asked by Timmy Lee Sanderson, one of the 3rd graders, if legalizing drugs would create "lots and lots of new drug addicts who'll pee on the side of our school building," the President responded, "Don't bullshit me, Timmy. I know you do that already."

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