LESS FILLING, MORE BARF

The world's most comprehensive legalized heroin program became permanent Sunday with overwhelming approval from voters in Switzerland. The United States has criticized the program as potentially fueling drug abuse (no joke). In other news, the Anheuser-Busch company announced that it sold its 10 zillionth can of Bud Light in the U.S. on Saturday. The milestone was celebrated in downtown St. Louis by thousands of college students throwing up as Keith Richards sang "O Holy Night."