McCAIN REACHES OUT TO WHITE MALES

A Washington Post/ABC News survey published on Tuesday found that most of John McCain's surge in the polls since the Republican National Convention has been due to increased support for him among white women voters (no joke). In response to this news, McCain has asked male voters "not to forget that I am a white man, and that I will represent white men to the best of my ability if elected President. Together, Vice President Palin and I will see to it that, after years of being ignored by our government, white people will once again have a voice in the Executive Branch. Let's make the White House white again!" The press conference ended when McCain became distracted by a propeller spinning on the beanie of a 5-year-old boy in the audience named Skippy.