CLINTON ATTACK UNLEASHES FIRESTORM OF CONTROVERSY

(Reuters News Service) The Democratic Presidential campaign took an ugly turn today, when third-place finisher Hillary Clinton accused Iowa winner Barack Obama of drowning kittens for sport. Screaming "Cat Killer!!, Cat Killer!!" at Obama as he addressed a rally in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Clinton had to be led away by local police. Later, in a press conference held after her arraignment, Clinton continued to hammer Obama: "Why do we crucify Michael Vick for murdering dogs, but praise Senator Obama for flinging cats into a burlap sack and tossing them in the river? This is racism at its vilest! Why are my fingernails turning green? Where is that ringing sound coming from? Why does everything look so sparkly?"

Obama refused to confirm or deny Clinton's allegations, claiming that "Mrs. Clinton is a very desperate, disturbed woman right now, and I have no interest in saying anything that could prolong her tirades. What I do with kittens is my own damn business."

Grin wholeheartedly agrees.