WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DOUBLE-MAJOR IN CRIMINOLOGY AND ECONOMICS, BUT FAIL TO BUY THE TEXTBOOKS

In an attempt to reduce gun-related violence in New Haven, city officials are offering Wal-Mart gift cards, worth $100 each, to residents who turn in handguns to the Police Department (no joke). Not to be outdone, Bridgeport is offering a 2007 sky-blue Hummer to each one of the first 50 residents of that city who surrenders a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher. And in Hartford, a six-day Carnival cruise to Antigua awaits the lucky citizen who discloses the exact whereabouts of Frankie "Freckles" O'Malley, who was last seen being tossed into the Connecticut River by his ex-wife Moira and the Finnegan brothers.