IS MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL UNFAIR TO THE EVIL DEAD?
In 2008 the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a Major League baseball team, will change its name to the Tampa Bay Rays (no joke). Am I the only one who is outraged by this blatant act of discrimination against those who reside in hell? Can't these lost souls have at least one Major League club to root for? Isn't it enough that they're experiencing damnation for all eternity? As Satan wrote on the Op-Ed page of the New York Times on Sunday, "This is a slap in the face to anyone who ever committed a mortal sin and then died before having a chance to repent. That's about 30% of our population down here. 23 hours a day, 365 days a year, these folks are being slowly charred to their bone marrow over the open flame of one of six bottomless pits in Dante's Inferno. Is it too much to ask that they have a team other the Duke Blue Devils that they can support? A team they can TiVo and watch during their one hour of R&R each day? For the love of Hades, cut these poor bastards some slack!"
Well put, Satan, well put. I don't see the Los Angeles Angels changing their name. Where is the justice in all this?
In 2008 the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, a Major League baseball team, will change its name to the Tampa Bay Rays (no joke). Am I the only one who is outraged by this blatant act of discrimination against those who reside in hell? Can't these lost souls have at least one Major League club to root for? Isn't it enough that they're experiencing damnation for all eternity? As Satan wrote on the Op-Ed page of the New York Times on Sunday, "This is a slap in the face to anyone who ever committed a mortal sin and then died before having a chance to repent. That's about 30% of our population down here. 23 hours a day, 365 days a year, these folks are being slowly charred to their bone marrow over the open flame of one of six bottomless pits in Dante's Inferno. Is it too much to ask that they have a team other the Duke Blue Devils that they can support? A team they can TiVo and watch during their one hour of R&R each day? For the love of Hades, cut these poor bastards some slack!"
Well put, Satan, well put. I don't see the Los Angeles Angels changing their name. Where is the justice in all this?
posted by Mike | 8:26 PM
4 Comments:
Mike -
Folks in Hell already have a baseball team. They are called the Chicago Cubs. And don't even mention the Bears to me today! MP
What happened to the New Jersey Devil? Did Tony Soprano do away with him?
Alex: If you live in New Jersey, you're already in hell. Naming your team in its honor is redundant.
MP: Bears. Oops, you asked me not to do that. Sorry. By the way, I don't think Rex Grossman should be walking the streets alone in Chicago.
Ah Rex. I think Lovey finally realized that I'd make a better quarterback; "bring on the greyhaired 43 year old woman from UM" he announced at a press conference this morning. Yes he could have gone with Griese from UM, but he opted for me.
My reply "hey I can throw three interceptions too!"
So I'll drive the 45 minutes to Detroit this Sunday and lead the Bears to a victory over the Lions. Or at least earn a quarter back rating of over .000009 in the process.
I know they won't let me wear #34 on my jersey (ah the beloved Walter) so what # should I request?
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