BILL BELICHICK: THE STORY BEHIND THE STORY?

Records released yesterday by the Foxboro, Massachusetts Police Department reveal that New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick was arrested in 2001 for cheating in a Scrabble game he played against his daughter Tiffany, who was 7 years old at the time. "It was pretty sad," commented Foxboro Police Chief Timothy O'Leary. "Every time his daughter would get up to go to the bathroom, Mr. Belichick would not only look at her tiles, but he'd exchange some of his tiles for better ones from the bag. And he made Tiffany drink a lot of water during the game, so she had to go to the bathroom a lot. The final score was 362 to 28 in favor of the coach. I just don't understand how someone could do that to his own child."

During the trial Belichick testified that his pathological competitiveness was a result of being bitten on his left buttock by a woodchuck when he was 12.