WILL MICKEY AND MINNIE LOSE A LEG?

The Walt Disney Company announced plans yesterday to open its newest theme park, DisneyBoom, on the outskirts of Baghdad in April 2008. According to Disney spokesman Crandall Yuspes, the park will feature a variety of attractions and rides that involve explosions. "We want to take advantage of the distinctive, exciting environment that has been generated in Iraq by the interaction of the American military, the Sunnis, and the Shiites. Park visitors will be able to play in Shrapnel Land, ride the Exploding Bus, and feel the rush of adrenaline that accompanies a desperate attempt to find a suicide bomber in an open-air market in less than three minutes at Kaboom Costco."

When asked about the dangers that visitors will encounter at DisneyBoom, Yuspes noted that the admission price for all tickets will include a life insurance policy.