PARIS HILTON AND THE PUBLIC GOOD
It looks like Paris Hilton won't be going to jail for 45 days after all. An Internet petition requesting that she be pardoned, with over 800 signatures, was received by the office of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger this week. (I'm not making this up.)
In response, the judge in the case has agreed to void the sentence on two conditions: (1) those who signed the petition on behalf of Ms. Hilton must agree never to reproduce, and (2) they must be willing to put up for adoption any children they may already have.
In the words of the judge, "the fans of Paris Hilton, taken as a group, represent the most serious long-term threat to the quality of humanity's gene pool since 1417, when Kazmir the Lesser, the idiot son of the Grand Duke of Eastern Barcinia, cheated on his wife and impregnated a woodchuck. I am certain that the greater good is served by my decision in this instance."
Grin wholeheartedly agrees, Judge. Good job.
It looks like Paris Hilton won't be going to jail for 45 days after all. An Internet petition requesting that she be pardoned, with over 800 signatures, was received by the office of California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger this week. (I'm not making this up.)
In response, the judge in the case has agreed to void the sentence on two conditions: (1) those who signed the petition on behalf of Ms. Hilton must agree never to reproduce, and (2) they must be willing to put up for adoption any children they may already have.
In the words of the judge, "the fans of Paris Hilton, taken as a group, represent the most serious long-term threat to the quality of humanity's gene pool since 1417, when Kazmir the Lesser, the idiot son of the Grand Duke of Eastern Barcinia, cheated on his wife and impregnated a woodchuck. I am certain that the greater good is served by my decision in this instance."
Grin wholeheartedly agrees, Judge. Good job.
posted by Mike | 8:30 PM
4 Comments:
hahaha...I was reading this in my Zen Buddhism lecture class (don't be mad, I was listening to the professor as well) and I laughed out loud. Whoops. I think my professor appreciated it, he laughs a lot too. It was very zen.
-Christa
With a Woodchuck? Is that why they call him "the lesser?"
With a Woodchuck? Is that why they call him "the lesser?"
Oops, the anonymous posts above are mine. I was so excited I forgot to sign in.
Alex
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