SUPREME BEING CASTS A VOTE FOR DISNEY WORLD

A year and a half after Pope Benedict XVI approved a document asserting that Catholicism provides the only true path to salvation (no joke), God has commented. In a press release issued on Sunday by the Celestial News Bureau, God the Father stated that "it all depends on what you mean by 'true'. Catholicism is certainly not the most direct path to salvation, since it goes through Vatican City, which is out of the way for just about everybody except Italians. Personally, I recommend Disney World in Florida. Most people go there at some point in their lives, and you could do a lot worse than to worship Mickey Mouse. You won't find a better mouse than Mickey. He's related to me on my wife's side of the family. I once saw him bring a squirrel back to life that had been run over by a truck. I respect that. I could never get my son to do miracles with animals."