IN THE MIDST OF WAR, A BUCKET OF BUTTERED POPCORN BRINGS SOLACE

Israel halted its bombing of the Gaza Strip for 3 hours yesterday (no joke) so that the besieged residents of Gaza City could take in dinner and a movie, according to Israeli government spokesman Mark Regev. "It seemed like a reasonable thing to do," Regev said. "We've been blasting the hell out of these folks for quite a while now, and the Gaza Multiplex is showing both Marley and Me and Valkyrie, two really good films. We hope people took advantage of the opportunity to relax a little and grab a bite at Applebee's after the show, because we're going to start bombing like crazy again pretty soon."