WHEN I AM KING......

......the following words and phrases will be banned. Just wanted to alert everyone.

• "Back in the day" ($500 fine. If you are less than 30 years old when you say it, a $750 fine and one month in jail.)
• "The feel-good movie of the summer" (or winter or spring or fall). $100 fine. If you are a professional movie reviewer, a $5,000 fine.
• "No problem" ($250 fine)
• "The lived experience" (A Ph.D. who uses this phrase will be fined $2500. No fine will be levied on non-Ph.D.'s who use this phrase, because I have never heard a non-Ph.D. say "lived experience." Non-Ph.D.'s realize that "lived experience" is the same as "experience.")

These penalties will go into effect 30 days after my coronation. Thank you for your attention to this matter.