"THANKS FOR THE MAMMARIES...."

The brief marriage of "Baywatch" actress Pamela Anderson to Rick Salomon was officially annulled last week, according to documents filed in Los Angeles Superior Court (no joke). In a related ruling, New Orleans Federal Judge Wendell Tarp declared that Ms. Anderson's bosom was also "null and void," due to its being composed of 83% silicone. Custody of the bosom was awarded to Trixie Talons, an exotic dancer in Wichita, Kansas, who claimed that Anderson's artificial breasts were in fact hers, having been left to Talons by her paternal great-grandmother, famed saloon chanteuse Tiger Pause.