ONE TOO MANY SLAP SHOTS TO THE FOREHEAD?

Following an exhaustive search, investigators have confirmed the identities of the three individuals who have been watching the televised broadcasts of the National Hockey League's Stanley Cup championship series between the Ottawa Senators and Anaheim Ducks. They are Winston, Patricia, and Skippy "Little W" Fwandeen of Cedar Falls, Iowa. When informed that they were the only Stanley Cup viewers in the United States, Winston and Patricia nodded and spit. Skippy, a restless 7-year-old, whispered to reporters, "Get me the hell out of here. Mom makes me wear my underpants over my head when I go to school."