FIRST TOM, AND NOW GEORGE
In a stunning follow-up to Paramount Pictures' recent decision to end its 14-year relationship with actor Tom Cruise, the American People announced today that they will sever all ties with President George W. Bush on September 1st. In a press conference held this morning by American People representative Millicent Thompson in Peckham, Montana, Ms. Thompson indicated that President Bush's behavior has simply been "too embarrassing, in too many ways," to justify keeping him in office. "If Congress wants to impeach him, that's their business. But I'll be damned if the rest of us are going to pay him any mind between now and the next election in 2008. We, the American People, will look instead to Yankees manager Joe Torre for leadership during this interim period. Now THERE'S somebody who knows how to get the job done. Just look at what they did to the Red Sox last weekend, and they didn't even have any guns."
President Torre is expected to name his Cabinet within the next month. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is likely to be replaced by Dallas Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells.
In a stunning follow-up to Paramount Pictures' recent decision to end its 14-year relationship with actor Tom Cruise, the American People announced today that they will sever all ties with President George W. Bush on September 1st. In a press conference held this morning by American People representative Millicent Thompson in Peckham, Montana, Ms. Thompson indicated that President Bush's behavior has simply been "too embarrassing, in too many ways," to justify keeping him in office. "If Congress wants to impeach him, that's their business. But I'll be damned if the rest of us are going to pay him any mind between now and the next election in 2008. We, the American People, will look instead to Yankees manager Joe Torre for leadership during this interim period. Now THERE'S somebody who knows how to get the job done. Just look at what they did to the Red Sox last weekend, and they didn't even have any guns."
President Torre is expected to name his Cabinet within the next month. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is likely to be replaced by Dallas Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells.
posted by Mike | 8:51 PM
7 Comments:
I could never be against a President Torre. However, I do think we'll get some protest from those pesky Red Sox fans. So may I suggest another candidate? How does President Willie Randolph sound? This way we get both Yankee and Mets splendor. I would even settle for a Torre for Pres and Randolph for VP ticket.
Alex
No, Alex, you may NOT suggest another candidate, at least not a candidate associated with the team that in 1986 afflicted me with a case of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome that lasted until 2004.
I knew it! Those pesky Red Sox fans strike again!!! Then I will vote on the Libertarian Party line!
Alex
How about Torre for Pres, Giambi for VP, and Jeter for a position where he'll always be on camera all the time! GO YANKEES!!! 5 1/2 games ahead!!
I am extremely disappointed that my reaching out to Yankee fans has resulted in an over-reaction on their part. I guess this is just "The Yankee Way." You give them a bite of your sandwich, and they want take over the whole delicatessen.
NOW, hold on a minute...what kind of sandwich? Me likes the Italian Combo. Gotta run, Yankees on...
Cabinet? Two Words: Zip Zimmer
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