BABY STEPS TOWARD LIVING ON THE EDGE
I've always been a risk-averse sort of guy. Having recently turned 57, I think it's time to change. The question is: How do I begin?
The stategy I've chosen might be helpful to others in their quest to liberate their inner Indiana Jones. It's quite simple: I no longer abide by the expiration dates on food, beverages, and medicine. Last night I drank an entire can of Mountain Dew that had "4/15/06" stamped on the bottom. As I swallowed, I could feel my sense of empowerment growing. Tomorrow I plan to open a container of tuna fish that expired in December of 2005. The mayonnaise I will mix with the tuna comes from a jar that says, "Best used by February 1, 2006." And the relish that will be added? It expired on June 30, 2002. What did I take for my headache five minutes ago? Two aspirin from a bottle that ordered me to "discard this medication after 5/31/98." Yeah, right.
Just a small step towards a life of daring? Yes. But a step it is. Curdled milk, hit me with your best shot.
I've always been a risk-averse sort of guy. Having recently turned 57, I think it's time to change. The question is: How do I begin?
The stategy I've chosen might be helpful to others in their quest to liberate their inner Indiana Jones. It's quite simple: I no longer abide by the expiration dates on food, beverages, and medicine. Last night I drank an entire can of Mountain Dew that had "4/15/06" stamped on the bottom. As I swallowed, I could feel my sense of empowerment growing. Tomorrow I plan to open a container of tuna fish that expired in December of 2005. The mayonnaise I will mix with the tuna comes from a jar that says, "Best used by February 1, 2006." And the relish that will be added? It expired on June 30, 2002. What did I take for my headache five minutes ago? Two aspirin from a bottle that ordered me to "discard this medication after 5/31/98." Yeah, right.
Just a small step towards a life of daring? Yes. But a step it is. Curdled milk, hit me with your best shot.
posted by Mike | 8:13 AM
3 Comments:
Your readers should be warned that such boldness should not be extended to tartar sauce that has been expired for several years. I'm sure you remember that incident even better than I do.
I would find drinking Mountain Dew to be a bit bawdy, even within its "use by" date. I think you're a man among boys!
If you wish to continue your life on the edge the next time you're in Seattle, you can:
a.) eat sushi at one of those conveyor-belt restaurants.
b.) go for a ride on the back of my scooter.
Both of these things give you the feeling of living life dangerously on the fringes of society, without much actual risk associated. (The sushi conveyors actually have bar codes to ensure that no piece of raw fish sits longer on the merry-go-round than is advisable for food-safety.
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