COULD THE TALIBAN SAVE SAAB?

The Taliban will soon be using Saabs for all of their suicide car bombings, according to sources located deep within the organization. Officials at General Motors could neither confirm nor deny the rumor, but admitted that such an arrangement could save the Saab brand. "We've been hemorrhaging money over the past few years with Saab, " GM spokesman Wendell Tek acknowledged, "and car bombings are a growth industry. We would be fools not to investigate an offer like this. And let's face it, many Saabs blow up on their own anyway. Why not leverage our manufacturing defects into some profits for our shareholders? Those poor people have been to hell and back with us."