BURN, BABY, BURN

In response to the legalization of gay marriage in California, the Hades Information Office announced yesterday that Hell will be opening a new resort in the fall: Barbecue Acres. According to Satan, "Barbecue Acres will provide luxurious, though incredibly hot, accommodations for gay couples condemned to an eternity of suffering for their choice of lifestyle. The resort will be adjacent to Rotisserie Estates, reserved for heterosexual couples who do not object to gay marriage, and Microwave Manor, a maximum-security facility for everyone else who had sex while they were alive.