THE BIG BROWN COLLAPSE: MYSTERY SOLVED
In a somber press conference this morning, a tearful Big Brown, speaking through legendary horse whisperer Robert Redford, admitted that an eating disorder contributed to his dismal performance yesterday in the Belmont Stakes. "I am anorexic," Brown confessed. "For the past three weeks I've been obsessed with the pudginess of my shanks. And except for a small cup of strawberry yogurt on Thursday, I've had nothing to eat for 12 days. When the time came for the race, I just didn't have the strength or stamina to do my best. I want to apologize to my owner, my jockey, and all my fans for letting them down. I'm determined to beat this thing. If the Olsen twins can do it, know I can."
In a somber press conference this morning, a tearful Big Brown, speaking through legendary horse whisperer Robert Redford, admitted that an eating disorder contributed to his dismal performance yesterday in the Belmont Stakes. "I am anorexic," Brown confessed. "For the past three weeks I've been obsessed with the pudginess of my shanks. And except for a small cup of strawberry yogurt on Thursday, I've had nothing to eat for 12 days. When the time came for the race, I just didn't have the strength or stamina to do my best. I want to apologize to my owner, my jockey, and all my fans for letting them down. I'm determined to beat this thing. If the Olsen twins can do it, know I can."
posted by Mike | 1:19 PM
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