JOE TORRE AND GOD: ON THE SAME TEAM?

Should Joe Torre be retained as manager of the New York Yankees? The National Council of Churches thinks so. In a press conference Friday afternoon in Manhattan, Council President Reverend Michael Livingston announced that the organization's Governing Board had voted unanimously to support Torre. "God wants Joe Torre to continue managing the Yankees, and so do we. Mr. Torre is a great manager, but more importantly, he's a great man. We believe that he should be allowed to manage the Yankees until he dies, at which point his body will be assumed directly into heaven, as was the case with the Virgin Mary."

When reporters asked Reverend Livingston about the appropriateness of a religious organization attempting to influence personnel decisions in professional sports, he responded, "We will do whatever it takes prevent Tony LaRussa from managing the Yankees. It's not like we're demanding that children be forced to pray in public schools. Athletes routinely thank God for helping them perform well. God is a big baseball fan. He probably watches 100 Yankee games a year. Isn't He entitled to express His opinion?"