DUMB AND DUMBER
For at least the past decade, scientists have tried to explain the gradual but steady decline in IQ scores among U.S. males between the ages of 15 and 30. This week, in a groundbreaking article in Science, a team of researchers from Stanford, Dartmouth, and the University of Chicago report on a number of studies that support the "Backward Cap Hypothesis." To summarize: the tendency of some young males to wear baseball caps with the bill facing backward is highly correlated with poor performance on tests of cognitive skill. At first, the researchers thought that it was intellectual dimness that caused some males to wear their caps like this (the "20-Watt-Bulb Hypothesis"). However, when they analyzed the data more closely, they found that cap placement preceded, rather than followed, the decline in intelligence scores. Additional research revealed the link. According to Dr. Starling Fleck, Professor of Cognitive Science at Stanford, "The part of the brain located at the back of the head is crucial for intellectual functioning. If this section is not exposed to sunlight on a regular basis, it atrophies. That's apparently what is happening to these young men. The reversed bill of the cap blocks the sun, causing the complex-thought lobes just above the neck to wither. It's very sad."
Scientists are desperately searching for a solution to this cranial catastrophe, but answers have been elusive thus far. Surgical removal and 180-degree rotation of the entire head, so that it faces in the opposite direction, has been attempted on a trial basis in several New Jersey hospitals, but results have been mixed. "It's a pretty messy procedure, and we lose about 85% of our patients," reports Dr. Fleck. "Most of the remaining patients figure out that we're tying to fool them, and they adjust their hat-placement behavior accordingly. We've also experimented with clear plastic visors on the caps so that sunlight can pass through them, but young men use black magic markers to color the visors, thus rendering the procedure useless. Right now our best hope is a piece of legislation that Senator Orrin Hatch will be introducing early next year. It would outlaw the manufacture of baseball caps with visors of any kind, beginning in 2008. The scientific community realizes that this is a drastic step, but the future of our national intelligence is at stake."
Grin is on your side, Dr. Fleck, with our hats on straight.
For at least the past decade, scientists have tried to explain the gradual but steady decline in IQ scores among U.S. males between the ages of 15 and 30. This week, in a groundbreaking article in Science, a team of researchers from Stanford, Dartmouth, and the University of Chicago report on a number of studies that support the "Backward Cap Hypothesis." To summarize: the tendency of some young males to wear baseball caps with the bill facing backward is highly correlated with poor performance on tests of cognitive skill. At first, the researchers thought that it was intellectual dimness that caused some males to wear their caps like this (the "20-Watt-Bulb Hypothesis"). However, when they analyzed the data more closely, they found that cap placement preceded, rather than followed, the decline in intelligence scores. Additional research revealed the link. According to Dr. Starling Fleck, Professor of Cognitive Science at Stanford, "The part of the brain located at the back of the head is crucial for intellectual functioning. If this section is not exposed to sunlight on a regular basis, it atrophies. That's apparently what is happening to these young men. The reversed bill of the cap blocks the sun, causing the complex-thought lobes just above the neck to wither. It's very sad."
Scientists are desperately searching for a solution to this cranial catastrophe, but answers have been elusive thus far. Surgical removal and 180-degree rotation of the entire head, so that it faces in the opposite direction, has been attempted on a trial basis in several New Jersey hospitals, but results have been mixed. "It's a pretty messy procedure, and we lose about 85% of our patients," reports Dr. Fleck. "Most of the remaining patients figure out that we're tying to fool them, and they adjust their hat-placement behavior accordingly. We've also experimented with clear plastic visors on the caps so that sunlight can pass through them, but young men use black magic markers to color the visors, thus rendering the procedure useless. Right now our best hope is a piece of legislation that Senator Orrin Hatch will be introducing early next year. It would outlaw the manufacture of baseball caps with visors of any kind, beginning in 2008. The scientific community realizes that this is a drastic step, but the future of our national intelligence is at stake."
Grin is on your side, Dr. Fleck, with our hats on straight.
posted by Mike | 5:13 PM
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