LIBBY FOUND INNOCENT ON ALL COUNTS BUT ONE!

Grin has learned that on Wednesday afternoon Lewis "Scooter" Libby will be acquitted of all perjury charges against him, but be convicted of having a truly stupid nickname for a grown-up. He will be sentenced to 2 years and 7 months at the Federal Penitentiary in Danbury, CT, where he will share a cell with Robert "Butt Cheeks" Farnsetto, a certified public accountant from Machias, Maine.

Thank you, Gavin and Melody, who served as fact-checkers for this story.