MISSISSIPPI LESBIAN LOSES TO SHEEP

In Itawamba County, Mississipi, the school board has canceled a high school senior prom rather than allow lesbian student Constance McMillen to wear a tuxedo and take her girlfriend to the dance (no joke). This decision contrasts sharply with its ruling of a year ago, when Gideon "Skeeter" Waxknuckle was allowed to take a sheep to the dance as his date. In defense of the latter decision, board chairman Floyd Nason noted that the sheep in question was a ewe, not a ram. "And a damn fine lookin' one at that," Nason chuckled.