SUICIDE BOMBING SCHEDULE ANNOUNCED FOR 2010
The International Terrorists' Association (ITA) announced Wednesday that spring training for the 2010 Suicide-Bombing season will commence on March 15th. This training period has traditionally been used to test new explosives on innocent civilians. The schedule is as follows:
IRAQ DIVISION
Week of March 15: Tekrit; most likely on a bus: Exploding hair gel
Week of March 22: Basra; open-air market: Shrapnel-laced Peanut M&M dynamite vest
AFGHANISTAN DIVISION
Week of March 29: Kabul; random street corner: Belly-button-based SCUD missile
Week of April 5: Kandahar; wedding reception: Skull-cap-launched chain saw
Discount season tickets are available for those who wish to attend all four bombings. Note: The Kandahar event is "Family Day." For prices and more details, go to Twitter.
The International Terrorists' Association (ITA) announced Wednesday that spring training for the 2010 Suicide-Bombing season will commence on March 15th. This training period has traditionally been used to test new explosives on innocent civilians. The schedule is as follows:
IRAQ DIVISION
Week of March 15: Tekrit; most likely on a bus: Exploding hair gel
Week of March 22: Basra; open-air market: Shrapnel-laced Peanut M&M dynamite vest
AFGHANISTAN DIVISION
Week of March 29: Kabul; random street corner: Belly-button-based SCUD missile
Week of April 5: Kandahar; wedding reception: Skull-cap-launched chain saw
Discount season tickets are available for those who wish to attend all four bombings. Note: The Kandahar event is "Family Day." For prices and more details, go to Twitter.
posted by Mike | 3:58 PM
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