U.S. BLACKS FINALLY SET FOOT ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP

The centuries-long, arduous journey of African-Americans to freedom and equality in the United States reached its destination last week, when The Danbury Mint announced The Michelle Obama Inaugural Doll is now available for only $149 plus $9 shipping and handling (no joke). "This doll is smokin' hot," claims Mint representative Jerrold Martin in a letter to potential purchasers. The letter also indicates that, out of respect for the First Lady, the Mint will cease production of its Strom Thurmond Action Figure by May 1st. "Strom been our best-selling Caucasian item for the past 25 years," Martin noted in a press conference, "but times change, and the Mint must change with them."