WHEN I AM KING....
....there will no more Presidents' Day. Presidents' Day is an insult to our other national holidays. It's so generic and nondescript that U. S. Presidents (of all people!) don't even feel a need to acknowledge it. No President would dare let July 4th slip by without sticking a Roman candle up his rump and soaring over the Capitol Building proclaiming the wisdom of the Declaration of Independence. But Presidents' Day? The only folks you hear from are retailers with comb-overs dressed in cheap suits, screaming about Presidents' Day sales where you can buy a washer, dryer, and bag of tube socks for only $15 down and $12.95 per month.
Are we really so desperate for a national holiday in February that we'll sacrifice our self-respect to get one? We'd be much better off making Valentine's Day a national holiday. Give everybody the day off to have sex...or watch other people have sex... or think about the great sex they've had in the past...or the even better sex they plan to have in the future. Now THAT'S a national holiday worth closing the post office for.
For those of us living in the Northeast, February is already a depressing enough month without the government REMINDING us of how depressing it is with Presidents' Day; a day that screams, "Hey, do you have any frigging idea who John Tyler is?" Or "Just in case you forgot, you geniuses elected Richard M. Nixon to the highest office in the land -- TWICE!!!" Yeah, we so need to have our noses rubbed in this.
And have you noticed that some calendars label it "Presidents' Day" while others call it "President's Day"? Face it; nobody cares.
Let's ditch this vestigial organ and stop embarrassing ourselves.
....there will no more Presidents' Day. Presidents' Day is an insult to our other national holidays. It's so generic and nondescript that U. S. Presidents (of all people!) don't even feel a need to acknowledge it. No President would dare let July 4th slip by without sticking a Roman candle up his rump and soaring over the Capitol Building proclaiming the wisdom of the Declaration of Independence. But Presidents' Day? The only folks you hear from are retailers with comb-overs dressed in cheap suits, screaming about Presidents' Day sales where you can buy a washer, dryer, and bag of tube socks for only $15 down and $12.95 per month.
Are we really so desperate for a national holiday in February that we'll sacrifice our self-respect to get one? We'd be much better off making Valentine's Day a national holiday. Give everybody the day off to have sex...or watch other people have sex... or think about the great sex they've had in the past...or the even better sex they plan to have in the future. Now THAT'S a national holiday worth closing the post office for.
For those of us living in the Northeast, February is already a depressing enough month without the government REMINDING us of how depressing it is with Presidents' Day; a day that screams, "Hey, do you have any frigging idea who John Tyler is?" Or "Just in case you forgot, you geniuses elected Richard M. Nixon to the highest office in the land -- TWICE!!!" Yeah, we so need to have our noses rubbed in this.
And have you noticed that some calendars label it "Presidents' Day" while others call it "President's Day"? Face it; nobody cares.
Let's ditch this vestigial organ and stop embarrassing ourselves.
posted by Mike | 6:27 PM
3 Comments:
I must disagree. I think James Polk deserves two holidays!!! And as a NYC native..there is never too trivial a reason to suspend alternate side of the street parking.
In my perfect world, I'd still celebrate Lincoln's birthday all by itself. And if Alex G. thinks we should have James Polk's, then pile it on! The apostrophe thing is just because so many people are either careless or punctuationally challenged, not necessarily because they don't know it's for bunches of them. Besides, if we tried to make Valentine's Day a national holiday, we'd have to discuss whether it's many valentines (valentines' day) or about the putative saint who started it all (Valentine's Day) in which case there would be yet another huge fuss about Christians shoving holidays down non-Christians' throats.
Mike, Have you considered the benefits of combining Valentine's Day with Presidents Day?
We could spend time considering, not only the historical significance, but the dreaminess factor of each of our presidents. Then, while we still won't remember what John Tyler accomplished, we can remember that he was kind of hot (for a president).
Dave
Post a Comment
<< Home