LIMBO COMES TO LA
I'm sure that many of you have seen the news about the prison riot that occurred in Los Angeles last week. The "public story" claims that racial tensions are at the heart of the disturbance. Nothing could be further from the truth. According to a source deep within the Vatican, the riot resulted from a failed attempt of the Department of Homeland Security to provide housing in the prison for approximately 450 limbo evacuees.
"It was a nightmare," claims the source. "From the moment the limbo-ites arrived, they were resented and taunted by the inmates." For one thing, most of the evacuees were much, much older than even the oldest prisoners. As one inmate complained, "The guy they made me share my cell with was born in 1307! Can you believe that? That mutha smelled baaaaaaaaad! And you know what else they did? They done took out all the machines from the exercise room and put in a bunch of shuffleboard courts and sand pits for bocce ball. What the hell is up with that? And now we have to eat dinner at 4:00 every afternoon, so the cafeteria can be cleaned up for some lame-ass bingo game at 6:00. And I'll be damned if I'm going spend every night listening to these freaks talk for hours and hours about how their daddy fought in the Crusades, or how their sister was bitten by some rat during the Black Plague. It just got to the point where we had to take those suckas DOWN!"
The U.S. Government needs to come clean with the public about this whole episode. We deserve the truth.
I'm sure that many of you have seen the news about the prison riot that occurred in Los Angeles last week. The "public story" claims that racial tensions are at the heart of the disturbance. Nothing could be further from the truth. According to a source deep within the Vatican, the riot resulted from a failed attempt of the Department of Homeland Security to provide housing in the prison for approximately 450 limbo evacuees.
"It was a nightmare," claims the source. "From the moment the limbo-ites arrived, they were resented and taunted by the inmates." For one thing, most of the evacuees were much, much older than even the oldest prisoners. As one inmate complained, "The guy they made me share my cell with was born in 1307! Can you believe that? That mutha smelled baaaaaaaaad! And you know what else they did? They done took out all the machines from the exercise room and put in a bunch of shuffleboard courts and sand pits for bocce ball. What the hell is up with that? And now we have to eat dinner at 4:00 every afternoon, so the cafeteria can be cleaned up for some lame-ass bingo game at 6:00. And I'll be damned if I'm going spend every night listening to these freaks talk for hours and hours about how their daddy fought in the Crusades, or how their sister was bitten by some rat during the Black Plague. It just got to the point where we had to take those suckas DOWN!"
The U.S. Government needs to come clean with the public about this whole episode. We deserve the truth.
posted by Mike | 5:33 PM
1 Comments:
What really bothers me about this is that storage in Limbo is so old. Isn't there any way to commute/pardon the limboites sentences? I think 700 years is enough for any soul. A mass pardon will free up space in limbo for all the new souls and will get Homeland Security off the hook. They are too busy - you know with all that into Barbra Streisand's phone!
Post a Comment
<< Home